As you work on beating an addiction, it can be very helpful to have the support of family and friends. However, not everything you get from them will necessarily qualify as “support.” In some cases, you may find that a particular person’s input is anything but supportive. As we tell people at our private addiction treatment program, in some cases it may be best for you to cut ties with that individual.
Signs that it’s Time for a Change
You certainly don’t want to end a relationship simple because the person is speaking some hard truths into your life. That reality check may be precisely what you need. But if “brutal honesty” is all they ever have to offer you, they really aren’t contributing anything to your goal of getting healthy. Here are some signs to look for as indicators that you and a person should probably go your separate ways:
They are frequently and vigorously critical of you. Some people are just plain mean and nasty under the cover of “being honest.” If their input isn’t tempered with kindness and shared with the goal of helping you, they may not be good for you.
Their perspective on life in general is consistently negative. We all have our times when it seems like the glass is half empty. But when a person refuses to see it any other way, their negativity is likely to be contagious if you continue to spend time around them.
They are clearly focused on their needs rather than yours. A healthy relationship should be built on positive give and take, with each of you receiving and providing support. If your friend is all about their own challenges and has no concern for yours, it’s time to say goodbye.
They don’t respect your boundaries. In recovering from an addiction, you’ll have to make changes in many areas of life — where you go, the things you do, etc. A good friend will respect the new boundaries you set. If a person doesn’t seem to be capable of doing that, you should think seriously about cutting ties with them.
They secretly don’t want you to recover. It’s sad say, but some people enjoy the feeling of power that comes from being “the healthy one” in a relationship. For them, your recovery threatens to upset that dynamic, so they won’t provide the support you need to get well.
Finding Your True Friends
When it comes to supporting your recovery, it’s much better to have a small number of true friends than a long list of people who don’t really have your best interests at heart. Knowing when to cut certain people loose is critical, and we can help you work through that process. Contact us today at (800) 205-6107 to find out about the services we offer at our private addiction treatment.
Content medically reviewed by Vicky Magobet, PMHNP-BC, on December 15th, 2018.
